What could modern cosmetology do for a shark?
(Theoretically, using the most up-to-date procedures of 2025–2026)The shark represents over 400 million years of evolution, with perfect hydrodynamics, tough skin covered in placoid scales (dermal denticles), and the eternal issues of "roughness," sun-induced pigment spots, and "age-related" battle scars.

Imagine an underwater cosmetic center equipped with gigantic lasers, RF stations, and an unlimited budget. Here's what could be done to make the shark look like a "young barracuda after a spa day."

1. Full laser removal of placoid scales (dermal denticles)
   1064 nm Nd:YAG + 808 nm diode in combo mode.
   Energy 50–80 J/cm², long pulse 100–200 ms.
   Result: the shark becomes smooth like a dolphin — hydrodynamics slightly reduced, but the skin is perfectly silky.
2. Photo-rejuvenation and skin tone evening
   IPL 560–1200 nm + picosecond 1064 nm.
   Eliminates gray-blue sun spots, scars from rival sharks, and uneven coloring.
   The shark gains a uniform steel gray-blue tone — underwater luxury aesthetic.
3. RF-lifting and skin tightening
   Monopolar RF + HIFU at 4–7 MHz (depth up to 13 mm).
   Stimulates collagen synthesis in the dermis.
   Result: skin becomes more elastic, less saggy — the shark looks "taut" and youthful.
4. Laser fin and tail peeling
   532 nm green + 755 nm alexandrite.
   Removes yellowness, spots, algae, and fungus.
   Fins become bright, glossy, like those of an aquarium superstar fish.
5. Intensive hydration and moisturizing
   "Subdermal mesotherapy" + injections of hyaluronic acid and peptides (theoretically).
   Plus laser-assisted carboxytherapy (CO2 injections).
   Result: the shark looks "hydrated" — skin appears plump, free of dryness and flaking.
6. Removal of "warts" and old scars
   808 nm diode + CO2 ablation.
   All scars from enemy sharks, galls, and growths — gone, smooth, trace-free.
7. Teeth whitening
   Laser whitening gel + 445–532 nm.
   After 3 sessions, teeth become snow-white — the perfect Hollywood smile for a predator.
8. Laser hair removal of "fin hairs"
   1064 nm — removal of any random "hairy" guests on the fins.
   Result: fins perfectly smooth.
9. Facial contouring
   RF-microneedles + laser lifting.
   Tightens skin around the mouth, making contours sharper and more "fashionable."
10. Full VIP package "Shark 2.0"
    Complete scale removal + photo-rejuvenation
    • RF body lifting
    • Teeth whitening and fin treatment
    • Intensive hydration
    • Removal of all scars and parasites

The result: A 100-year-old shark looks like a 10-year-old — smooth, radiant, elastic, with dazzling white teeth and flawless skin.
Now she's not just a predator — she's an underwater supermodel, leaving every fish in a faint.